ms f has spoken to me too many times this past few weeks.
which makes me almost sure that i'll retain.
now she thinks that i trying to skip school on purpose.
okay, i admit that friday was because i was running away.
but i PROMISE !
the other times was just me forgetting to put my mc at the GO .
our school should seriously not do that ,
i always forget!
and that they deem it as truancy )):
im a good student okay :D
anyway , she ended with
"i will see you in school tomorrow
you will not be late
you will be here be before the first chime .." something something.
i mean , i know she's trying to help me and all .
but ):
just sick of hearing all these things over and over.
anyway , we then had our OP dry run.
and up till now.
i seriously dont know if being the last group is a blessing or a curse.
haha .
this is the order .
[1] the CHIMOLOGY group.
[2] the SUPER RESOURCE-FUL group
[3] the super CHARISMATIC group
[4] us :D we have mouths! according to julia.
ahaha , but im so glad its over!
and seriously, i think the rest of our class was GREAT .
we really must work on ours :x
then , spent the afternoon doing john's card.
i decided, i guess..
that i should quit afterall.
i think that would be the most conflict preventing thing to do right now.
and i want to run instead of walk this race in God as well.
i just hope that i wont have second thoughts.
no room for hesitation please !
i felt really really really really bad not being able to go for training.
the sound of jac's voice going "are we a team" resounding in my head.
they are not just teammates but friends.
and we are jsut starting to learn a whole lot of stuff! ):
sighs.
the rest of the day was pretty awesome.
ohmytian, i think im hearing peifen say "awesome" too much now !
we did DOUBLE integrations !
WOOTS :DD
we visited both john and shirley !
it felt so nice seeing their faces as they got our gifts!
it is truly satisfying to help others (:
i love spending time with d5 (:
as we went from nyjc to paya lebar,
from paya lebar to this fashion.
from this fashion to bedok.
frmo bedok to shirley's grandma house(:
a random thought,
TODAY WAS SUPER hot HOT HOT ! :x
that plus a hand full of heavy stuff all day.
hahaha.
after hearing what peifen and the others said.
though it was so insignificant line.
i bet even she has forgotten it .
it is so deeply etched in my mind.
i want to run to significance.
please.
dont watch me but see me.
dont pity me but respect me.
dont like me but love me.
dont use me but need me.
dont bluff me but trust me.
this is what i've learnt to want(:
Saturday, October 25, 2008,12:50 pm
HAAPPY BIRTHDAY MOO & JASMINE (:
woke up this morning to freaking swollen eyes .
it was horrible, and it felt horrible too.
so i didnt go to school :x
but it was a relief , because part of me didnt want to as well.
but,
there was training in the afternoon, so i forced myself out, rubbed my eyes in cold water and left the house.
i was dead set, to walk away from the people i wanted to avoid.
BUT ,
i realise that ,
the more you try to avoid someone,
the more prominent they are.
they seem to appear EVERYWHERE .
anyway, running away from my problems is not the way.
avoiding and pretending isnt either.
i just need to figure out a way for confrontation .
hahha .
shar they all had already left .
so i couldnt get my laptop -.-
played basketball with manprit and the rest.
and then training started .
but first,
i had to force myself to apologise to siming.
it was really hard okay!
but, i know he didnt deserve the treatment i gave him.
esp after he was trying to cheer me up.
but still ! my impressions of him made it really hard!
lols
our training then started at 3.
SUPER EARLY considering.
we were quite happy, thinking it would end early.
but we ended at 8plus.
gosh, 5 hours of training ?!
initially, it was so tiring !
we ran only 5 rounds, but it seemed so tiring,
our stamina has seriously dropped.
and we usually did jiao bu immediately,
but even with break.
jiao bu was HORRIBLY TIRING !
felt so disappointed.
but,
the rest of training was great.
truly learnt alot.
and i think we played much better !(:
i started to have second thoughts again.
we were having so much fun !
and i really didnt want to quit.
but, what could i do ?
spoke to ms tang, rather ms yau.
and she shoot me sentence after sentence.
sighs.
i dont what to do !
one day my thought point at this decision.
the next day, my decisions rest in the other.
dammit man.
hahaha .
i really need to fast & pray!
i really dont want my life to continue this way.
Friday, October 24, 2008,10:08 am
wow, yesterday was a revelation. and i realise now how much of a screw up my life is. people, are superficial. a time of honest people with sincerity and true intentions are gone (: they just take what they want and leave your filthy remains behind.
today was another pw day. and i was supposed to go for pm after that. which i was looking forward to all day ! o.o who knew all this shit would happen in that 3 hours i was waiting for val.
well , at least i've learnt something today. i can't trust what people say anymore. they say one thing to you, and another to others. they pretend to care, while actually you're just a joke to them. & that i am in fact just stupid.
thanks for this lesson (: i guess the little bubble i was living in has been burst. thanks for adding another thing in my life that is a big joke.
now my life story goes like this : i wake up to parents who think i screwed up my priorities. never-ending quarrels and disappointments. i go to school to people who take advantage of me. i have commitments to things and people who probably wont do the same for me. and then back home again to a home to have another quarrel.
wow (: what a loser am i.
i dont need people to pity me. to look down on me. i just wanted truth .
Wednesday, October 22, 2008,12:29 am
its one thing to underestimate someone, its another thing to just blatantly look down on them.
sorry, just had to type that, cos someone pissed me off today. haha . our first OP rehearsal was today, and we were so lucky to be the last group ! well, i guess it has its mixes of good and bad. good : because we have more time to prepare our non-existent scripts and presentation structure. bad : we'll feel kanchiong the longest !
first was eileen's group, t the CHIMOLOGY group. hahaha , and they sort of gave us tips from their experience. which is another gooood help for us (: then the mayflower peeps and shar's group. all of us were getting stressed out. so we decided to play the drums found in the room ! i'll post up the video when sianru uploads it ! hha. it was super funny! and it really helped to de-stress (:
in the end, our presentation wasnt that bad. besides the fact that zijun didnt speak. i knew she wasnt prepared, and we really must work towards changing that ! i think she's making progress , cos she did the Alice part great! hahaha , we'll overcome this ! and julia spoke like a PRO ! i was super shocked ! it was great(: haha . and i think the advice the j2 people gave really helped. considering i was freaking out initially. cos all the other classes only had to present in front of their classes.
spent the day playing basketball with manprit ! 8 straight hours of an orange ball. it was fun ! (:
Tuesday, October 21, 2008,12:44 am
some d5 videos ! hahaha ,
this was taken on saturday as we prepared to give jieru her birthday surprise . hahaha . yongda self-proclaimed director man ! lol.
another video i found (:
anyway, its been so long since i went for both services ! hahaha .
felt so refreshed .
BUT , had bad cramps on sunday.
which kind of ruined the presence.
but somehow, amidst all the problems that were soffocating me at that time.
the moment we went into worship, and i lifted them all to God.
i felt that ever-assuring peace deep in my heart.
i know things will get better , i know God will make a way (:
thats faith! that i must must must sustain ! :D
it was Charleston's FIRST sermon on sunday.
and of course, it was great.
impactful, simple and precise on LEADERSHIP.
to think he's only 20 years old !
we seriously have great leaders, they inspire that you can never be too young to start running your race in Christ.
aiya ! i have to do PW now ,
but i want to blog !
i'll continue this post another day (: enjoy the videos ! haha .
Saturday, October 18, 2008,12:02 am
D5 !
hm , quite alot of things i want to post about today .
first about Nick Vujicic.
NICK VUJICIC MAN !
i've watched his youtube videos over and over ,
and i get blown off each time.
he's truly amazing.
sincerely and genuinely inspiring, which i think is a rare and precious trait today.
he reminds me of the lead singer in parachute band - Omega Levine.
his story always rings in my head whenever i think the going gets tough.
how can we slug around and complain and whine, when there are people with bigger problems !
words seriously cannot describe just how amazing they are , they truly are.
anyway, anyone who's interested to hear his story, tell me!
trust me, you'll be blown away.
i truly believe its something you have to listen to.
one of those things that you MUST do once in your lifetime(:
4th & 5th november.
tell me ! :D
i had so many things on my mind to blog about,
but after writing about Nick Vujicic, i've speechless.
okay , i'll just post a quick sumary cos its late ,
and i really need to do QT and sleep .
hahaah ,
i pray for direction,
i pray for peace,
i pray for assurance
i pray for my friends .
im going through a storm right now,
i want to get through it.
i will get through it !
on a comforting note.
a few friends told me that my O's story is encouraging.
and is what makes them not give up and see what might was impossible.
honestly, i dont know whether to take it as a compliment or insult.
lols, but its really comforting .
and im really glad!
but i guess i cant blame them , cos my results really were edfwemgfnosdksl bad .
haha .
a jump from 24 to 9 !
i still dont understand how it happened.
cos i was going through a really bad time during that period.
anyway, i wish all the juniors taking O's all the best(:
have faith, have confidence(:
do what you can,
do it once, do well.
there's no use comparing, thinking of "what if"
just, give it your all for this short season, SO SHORT !
and then no matter what the results, you'll still have a smile on your face with no regrets.
there's no reason why you can't do it yeah(:
i wish you guys all the best!
P.U.S.H
Sunday, October 12, 2008,12:20 am
woahs , tiring day. haha . for the first time ever, i spent my birthday in HOGC, and not with my girlfriends. i'll blog about friday first ! hha . if i can still remember :x
FRIDAAAAAAAAAAY :D HAAAAPY BIRTHDAY ANGZHILIN! school was a drag , really boring . haha . was supposed to have the service learning talk , which i WAS looking forward to actually, but really felt draggy, so we left early. we wanted to go get piercings, but in the end, we ended up watching painted skin, which actually turned out to be better than i thought it would. i guess shar is right. when you go into a movie with ZERO expectations, ZERO sterotype and judgement, it usually turns out to be good. haha . but they claimed i was jumping over every little thing, but, to redeem myself, THE EFFECTS WERE STARTLING OKAY! hahahah, but, somehow i think that if shan hadnt told me the story, i would not have understoood. and i couldnt really discern between the wife and the demon :x lalala ~ but admittedly, it was an overall gooood show. with all the ching ching chang chang typical fighting scenes of chinese shows. HAHAHA . anyway, walked around abit before going off the meet cherie.
i wanted to take 16 from esplanade, but , i walked one BIG GIGANTIC circle around the durian, went to all the bus stops nearby in the hot scalding sun, and could not find it . i found myself back at square one, and decided to take the long walk back to city hall mrt. gosh , it was a waste of time . but goood exercise . HAHAHA.
hm , cherie and i went to explore the oh-so-ulu kallang leisure park! which i must promote now ! i tell you, its a MUST-GO PLACE, though shopping is limited and its kind of under construction but BUTBUUUUUT ! it DOES have so much more things, - kbox - theatre - sushi ! - bowling -ice skating.
which i personally think is a combination of many shiopping malls ! it was so cooooooool :DD hahaha . cherie and i went to 日本村 which turns out to be a cheaper & definitely worth the 15bucks plus! much more than just buffet, there's an order menu, with the most ASWESOMEST sashimi i ever ate, and im NOT exaggerating. cherie thinks so too ! anyway, we ordered to our hearts content, but the lady cleared our many plates before we could take a picture of it. seriously goooood. like a cheaper suki(:
but as usual, we see many weird things , a waiter walked past our table . and was silently but openly barking to the window. like . DOTS .
cherie and i crapped and crappped as usual. miss her company so much! after all these years , she's the one who i can fa xie all out to. i just wish i could talk to her about spiritual things :x but, i really love her as one of my best friends ever man ! &&& we have telepathy man ! hahaha .
[1] we BOTH have been thinking about yongsheng , the same thoughts about wanting to search him out. hahah .
[2] when we walked past this like harvey norman shop, in my mind a thought flashed "does cherie want to buy a new oven?" but i felt it was so random i didnt want to ask her. THEN ! she suddenly said "yiwen i want to buy an oven leh" HAHAHAHAH .
we walked marina for awhile, and then bus-ed home . where there was this OTHER weird dude . who was sitting beside us. he has holding this correction tape which was buzzing. and then randomly buzzed a crescent girl in front of us ! she was so freaked out and squirmed to the back of the bus o.o WE were freaked out . cos after that, he was like . trying to make eye contact with us and staring , but we refused to look him eye to eye. it was really scary! why do weird things always happen to us man . hahha .
we had many goood chats (: and this was like , part two of our many excursions-to-the-ulu-parts-of-singapore outings. lol
went to mac to find mum and ling, and watched my drama till about 4am ! iLOVE post-exam pre-results period :DD
SATURDAAAAAAAAAAAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO QIANQIAN&ME&YILU :D woke up SUPER late today ! like, 12plus ! and i was so kanchiong , cos i was supposed to meet the MI peeps at 1230 . super kanchiong . was ruushing here and there, and by the time i reached there, it was already 2 . HAHAHA . everyone looks different physically, but unfortunately, they're still the same inside -.- hahaha , i'll make sure i get the 103450925832 pictures they took. honestly, i only told kinmeng that it was my birthday , and i was SUPER shocked that they wished me . super touched as well, in their weird crappy sarcastic ways they were nice(:
plus! i ate cafe cartel for the FIRST TIME EVER ! it wasnt as good as i thought it was, and wasnt that bad (: but, the rest gorged on the free flow of bread, which i guess makes the money worth it. okay, when i say gorge, i meant meng and junwei -.- gorged on butter as well. eek.
went to mines cafe for awhile, for me it was like one hour, before CHIONG-ing off th church . there wasnt enough time so i had to cab. which i seriously hate doing. but i hate hate hate being late for church even more. haha . but, when i got there, i kinda felt it was worth it. cos praise was AWESOME! i was super shocked seeing pastor lia on stage ! cos they seldom perform , and they performed today ! haha , it was so high and fun ! i just felt the joy of the Lord bringing me peace(:
the sermon was definitely relevant to our season, and all the more i felt that this is not the time yet, that i have to incubate more. i will try !
after that, we had 0ur hangout! ohmygosh ! DID I TELL YOU QIANQIAN BOUGHT MY BAYGON ! O.O haha , all these years, many people joke that they'll get me baygon as a birthday gift , but on the day itself, they dont, so this was the first . HAHAHHA . &&& venus and val sang happy birthday on the mic in front of the church, which was so paiseh ! cos i bet 3/4 of the people didnt know who i was and were being nice to sing . ohmytian, SO PAISEH! haha . then they wanted to trick qianqian by not singing for her first which i thought was super evil, cos i think she was quite sad , but in the end they sang for her on the mic too ! haha . we played many games and ate pizza, mash potatoes and chicken wings! and , i really loved it. it was nothing extravagent , but it was significant to me, feeling at home in HOGC is really important to me.
i woke up this morning asking myself , why are birth-days any different ? we should celebrating the mums who delivered us in all their pain. haha , but then after tonight it struck me. rather than celebrating why you're born. to me , birthdays expose the people who really care about you enough to celebrate it. it reminds you of the people who you might have lost contact with , but still remember this date. [ which i personally thing is a hard thing in all our supposed busy-ness ] and you ultimately know to love and be-loved.
im so thankful for all the people who wished me (: especially those who i thought would forget, but they didnt ! i thank God deeply for all these people. and i hope it stays , cos i dont want to forget it. people like cherie, jasmine, manprit, moomoo, peijun, jonathan,val cheong, claricia, jieru, zhimin, qianqian,cheekit kor, ahyee, gavin, meifong, zhengy,shanmei, kinmeng, eileen, claudia, azureen, marcus, zhihao, junjie, kaihsiang, raymond, venus, sharmini, shuni, huiqing, jonah, godric, choonkai, shaun, geraldine, renee, shawn, spencer, colleen, kenneth, louisa, junwei, pinli, fungqi, jiamin, priscilla, timothy, danial, priscilla from hg, peifen, sharyl, ranford, haoyang, bao, yingchao, zhilin, adeline, justin, kenneth, family and the rest(:
tomorrow's another day(: i love cherie, my MI peeps and d5 for today!
Friday, October 10, 2008,3:22 pm
yay ! finally put up the new blog that i've been putting off . i think its a bit messy . but i seriously in the random mood now (:
anyways , i'm redo-ing the links from scratch . ahha . so , put your links at my tagboard ! :D thanks ! haa.
i wasted my blogging time to make this skin . eesh. haha .
heartofGodchurch